Unveiling the Hidden Struggles: Are You Masking Your True Self?

Written By: DeAnn Winn

December 29, 2023

Are you a chameleon, changing how you act around others depending on what group of people you are around? If you are someone with ADHD and/or Autism, you might be familiar with the term masking. Though it may seem like a good idea to mask, or maybe you do not even realize you are doing it, masking can have detrimental effects on your well-being.

Understanding Masking

Masking is a term used to describe the act of camouflaging your neurodivergent traits to fit into social situations. It involves imitating neurotypical behaviors and suppressing your natural tendencies. There are costs to masking you may not be aware of.

The Hidden Struggles 

Masking can be detrimental to your mental health. Here are

signs that you might be masking:

1. Exhaustion: Do you feel drained by the end of the day? Masking requires effort

and energy.

2. Anxiety and Depression: Constantly worried about not letting others see your

disorganization, impulsiveness, social awkwardness, etc. is stressful and can

lead to depression and anxiety.

3. Loss of Identity: If you are aways trying to mask according to the person or

group you are around, eventually you will lose sight of who you truly are.

4. Strained Relationships: Because you are not acting as if you are your true self,

it might be challenging to build authentic relationships because people do not

truly know who you are.

5. Are You Masking? Do any of these struggles resonate with you? If you are not

sure, here are some questions that may help you decide if you are masking.



Do I feel like I am constantly pretending to be someone I am not?

 Am I afraid of showing my true self in social situations?

 Do I feel exhausted after social interactions?

 Am I suppressing my natural tendencies to fit in?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, there is a possibility that you are

masking your true self.

The Impact on Those Who Are Neurodiverse

Feeling the need to conform to societal expectations and suppress who you are can exacerbate ADHD symptoms of inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. For those who meet criteria for ADHD and/or ASD, masking increases depression, anxiety and can lead to meltdowns and burnout. It is beneficial to engage in therapy with a neurodiversity affirming mental health therapist to help identify how masking is impacting your life and identifying times when you can safely unmask.

Seeking Authenticity 

Embracing and accepting your neurodivergent traits is the key to living an authentic life. Here are some steps you can take:

1. Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on who you truly are and what makes you unique. Embrace your strengths and quirks.

2. Community Support: Connect with others who share similar experiences. Online communities and local support groups can provide a safe space to be your true self and experiences connection and validation.

3. Professional Guidance: A therapist who has experience in neurodiversity can help you navigate unmasking and provide strategies for self-acceptance.

4. Education and Advocacy: Educate yourself about neurodiversity. Find ways to advocate for yourself and others to gain greater acceptance and understanding in society. This will help create a more inclusive world where it is safe for you and others to be your true self.

Remember, unmasking is a personal journey that should done at your own pace. Embrace your true self and surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are. If you need help with the unmasking process, I am a neurodivergent therapist and I, as well as other therapists in our office, are ready to help you with the unmasking process. You deserve to be you! Start your unmasking journey today by contacting us at 217-203-2008 or info@champaigncounseling.com!

References:

1. ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association: ADHD Masking: Does Hiding Your

Symptoms Help or Harm?

2. Verywell Mind: What Is ADHD Masking?

3. Healthline: Understanding Autism Masking and Its Consequences

4. Psych Central: Autism Masking: What It Is and More