Recognizing Relationship Anxiety


Do you get anxious when you think about your relationship? Anxiety is a part of life, for better or for worse. Luckily, there are a variety of ways to manage anxiety, particularly anxiety that centers around relationships. Here are some ways to get started with unpacking and coping with relationship anxiety.


Here are 7 signs of relationship anxiety and 3 ways to cope with it.*

  • You overthink your partner’s words and actions

    • After a conversation with your partner, do you find yourself going over what they said with a fine toothed comb? Constantly thinking and overthinking what they said or did to the point where it isn’t productive to the relationship can be harmful and reinforce anxious tendencies. 
  • You spend a significant amount of time worrying about your relationship. 

    • Do you spend more time thinking these thoughts than you would like?
  • You worry that your partner wants to break up with you.

    • If your partner is home 30 minutes late, does your mind immediately jump to the conclusion that they are never coming back and are planning on breaking up with you?
  • You constantly compare your relationship to other peoples’ relationships. 

    • Do you always think about other people in their relationships and compare it to your own? Do you picture others being happier and in better relationships with no fighting? 
  • You don’t express your own needs and desires because you are afraid that they might leave. 

    • Do you find yourself holding back your truths and needs in a relationship to preserve the calmness?  
  • You need constant validation and reassurance from your partner that they love you and won’t leave you. 

    • Do you constantly need reassurance and validation from your partner about big and small things? 
  • You feel insecure when you think about your relationship with your partner. 

    • When you think about your relationship and your partner, is anxiety the first thing that you feel in your body?


Here are some ways to cope with relationship anxiety: 


  1. Schedule an appointment to see one of our therapists. Having the time and space to explore your anxiety around relationships and let your emotions out can be great for dealing with anxious thoughts. 
  2. Journal. Writing things down and expressing your emotions is one of the best ways to clear up cognitive space in your mind and release some of the tension that anxiety causes.
  3. Practice deep breathing. Taking time to intentionally take a few deep breaths with long and slow exhales can help calm your nervous system down and reduce anxiety throughout the day. 


*Note: This blog does not apply to relationships with intimate partner violence or abuse.