Are You Over-Sharing?

 Is There Such a Thing as Talking Too Much? 

The famous English novelist, Rudyard Kipling once said, “Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind”. Communication can happen in a variety of ways, including, written messages, online interactions, and physically speaking out-loud. Do you ever walk away from a conversation wondering if you have been over-sharing?

The Point of Conversation

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone where you felt like you were sharing too much or too little? Maybe the evenness of the conversation was not there, or one person was dominating the conversation. It’s important to keep in mind that communication is meant to be used for a reason. If you ever find yourself talking and not following yourself, it can be helpful to ask yourself what you’re trying to say at that moment. 

The way that we communicate with others can reveal a lot about us as people. When we engage in conversation with others, we show parts of our personalities, ideas, beliefs, and emotions in the moment. 

It’s okay not to always have something to talk about with someone. Silence can be a helpful thing to become familiar with, no matter how uncomfortable it can be at first. 

Common Reasons for Over-Sharing:

1. Strong feelings in the moment, such as uncertainty, or nervousness
2. Sometimes our feelings can become overwhelming, leading us to act without thinking. When we don’t give ourselves enough time to think about a thought before talking, we can find ourselves over-sharing in a conversation. 
3. Talking about yourself or something that happened to you 
4. One thing that people love to talk about is themselves. It can be easy to get caught up in talking about something that happened to us or something in particular about us. 
5. Thinking about what you are going to say next 
6. It’s easy to think about the next thing we will say to someone that we may be talking to at the moment, but this can lead to us not always paying full attention to the things the other person is talking about. If you have a thought ready to share, it’s ok to keep it in the back of your mind, but don’t forget to listen
7. Thinking out-loud rather than in your head 
8. Sometimes people need to think out loud in order to process what’s going on in their own heads. This can sometimes look like someone is speaking to another person, when they are actually just gathering their own thoughts.
9. Being uncomfortable with silence
10. Each person has a different comfort level with a moment of quiet, whether it is in a conversation with another person or not. Sometimes when someone feels uncomfortable, they can try to fill the silence. 

Helpful Tips to Prevent Over-Sharing:

• Put a time limit on conversations with others 
• Excuse yourself if you’re feeling like you’re sharing too much 
• Go into a conversation with a game plan 
• Ask someone you trust for feedback on your conversation style 
• Try to be as clear and concise as you can
• Look for non-verbal social cues that other people are giving off during conversation
• Practice mindfulness when speaking with others, especially with the content of your shares 
• Remember that the conversation may not go as planned, and that is ok
• Try to stay focused on the theme of the conversation rather than going on tangents 
• Remember that silence does not have to be awkward

Talking is one of the main forms of communication with those around us, but this is just one piece of the puzzle that makes up how we interact with the world.  Are you ready to learn more about yourself and your communication style? Give us a call or email us today to schedule a session with one of our clinicians at 217-203-2008! 

Resources: 

1. https://www.inc.com/deborah-grayson-riegel/10-reasons-youre-talking-too-much-what-to-do-about-it.html
2. https://www.verywellhealth.com/excessive-talking-5224128
3. https://www.healthline.com/health/talking-too-much
4. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/defining-memories/202209/understanding-why-people-talk-too-much